Crushed

1993 and we just moved to Orlando. It was love at first sight. Wait. Who am I kidding? It was lust at first sight. No one could love that black soul of hers.

"Flannel nerd."

"Sell-out Poser."

And after my idol killed himself: "Kurt No-brain."

What did I ever do to her to make her turn me into the school's pariah?

She's irredeemable. Mocking me verbally and tormenting me visually, I just want her out of my life. In a few months, I'll graduate and go off to MIT to be with the woman I truly love. Jenna can live her party life to its inevitable conclusion for all I care.

But why is she changing? Gone are the outfits that skirt the dress code, the thick makeup, and crimped hair. No longer does she sleep in class or show up hungover. That trademark sneer is now a sweet smile and kind words, all while flinching whenever her ex-boyfriend comes near.

What sort of game is she playing? Why can't I get the way she looks at me with sadness and regret out of my mind when she's only ever looked at me with contempt? What really happened the day she woke up in class screaming, "I'm 18 again?!"